Thursday, June 26, 2014

drunk

i have just returned home from a friend's wedding and i'm drunk but had the forethought to inform my father other people were spending the night at his house. (my mom is away on business.)

meg:  (loudly run up the stairs and swing john's bedroom door open)
meg:  (loudly) JOHN!  are you awake?!
john:  mmmm
meg:  daddy!  i'm drunk!  
john:  i know
meg:  julia and Alex are spending the night!
john:  ok
meg:  daaaaaaaaaaad!  i am sooooooo drunk
john:  go away

Monday, June 23, 2014

father's day

a best friend of mine is in the car with my father while we transport things to another best friend's wedding location...

lauren:  happy father's day!
john:  thank you!
lauren:  what are you going to do with the rest of your day?
john:  (scoffs) whatever i want!!
lauren:  ......

oh john!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

bra hat

john: i am going to do laundry later
meg: can you add my bra to the white/light load? i'll leave it out for you. 
john: ok
meg: my boobs are so big, you could wear it as a hat...

...pause...

john: no thank you